the sober life

I've recently started waitressing at a restaurant whilst studying for the RD exam and getting a real dietitian job. As you may or may not know, the restaurant biz brings in kind of trashy/potty mouth type people. They act super profesh on the floor with the customers but the second they walk into the kitchen they're shouting F bombs at each other. They yell vulgarities when they're mad, sad, happy, confused, or speechless. I don't prefer this and have contemplated bringing a bar of soap to wash their mouths out, though I think this may be ineffective because the damage has already been done. Their mothers should have done that years ago, but these profane people range from 23-60 years of age. So you see how that would set me back a smidge. How do you teach old people to act like old people?

Anyway, here are some fun happenings that I have been a part of:

Boy: You should come hang out with a few of us tonight.
Me: What are you gonna do?
Boy: Smoke week and drink beer.
Me: HAHA, I'm not coming.

Guy: Did you grow up in Utah?
Me: Yus
Guy: So you're a Mormon?
Me: Yus
Guy: *Thinks I'm weird. I can tell by his facial expression.*

Jolly old man customer: You must be the prettiest woman I've seen all day!
Me: Oh well that's very nice of you, thank you!
Customer: Let's make it all month!

Boy: You should put Neosporin on that burn.
Me: Oh I do.
Boy: Geez! Sooooorry!
My mind: Don't tell me stupid stuff I already know and then get all defensive when all I say is 'I know'

Man: Are you LDS?
Me: Yus
Man: Well do you still drink and do drugs and stuff?
Me: Um, no.
Man: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN.
Me: Wakeboard, ski...
Man: *Cuts me off* HOW DO YOU DO THAT SOBER?!?
Me: With skillz.

Guy: Is that guy Mormon?
Me: No, he swears a lot.
Guy: Mormons can swear.
Me: Wait, they can?
(PS, that wasn't really my response. I also knew that he smoked, which confirmed that he wasn't Mormon).

Guy: Do you wanna pick up a shift on Sunday?
Me: I have church. Yep, I'm a church girl.
Guy: *Sneers at me and walks away*

So, I mean, it's fun.

part march // salt flats

My dear friend, Aleisha, and I have been wanting to go do a photo shoot at the Bonneville Salt Flats for quite some time now. We planned it for March when the weather is decent but before the bugs move in. On Friday we made the two hour trek out west. The flats weren't as flat as we thought. A layer of salt was over some mud, creating a mushy ground, but it was still pretty flat all around. We put on some lipstick, took some pictures, and then decided to get our hair all big and frizzy. These photos turned out totally rad. I can't get over that sky.

Those salt flats are pretty stellar.

Do I know you?

The day: Sunday
The setting: Church, after Sacrament meeting

Due to the fact that I am now living at home, my singles ward consists of people from high school. This one kid, we'll call him George, was standing in the seat stall and Lindsay and I needed to get out. So I kindly asked if I could get through. Then he said, 'hi,' and I told him good job on his lesson today. He then asked me my name.

Now, George and I went to high school together, and even middle school and elementary I believe. Though, we never shared a class to my recollection and I don't think we ever spoke a word. But I did know who he was. Because, I know who most people are. My memory is fantastic.

So anyway, I told him my name and then proceeded to tell him this story of a guy in Washington that I played volleyball with that looked so familiar to me and blah blah blah and then when I saw him (George) at church I realized the kid from Washington was George's doppleganger!  

So he kinda laughed and then asked me my last name. I told him and said we had graduated high school together. He went, 'Ohhh!' like he recognized my name, but I'm pretty sure he didn't know who I was. He possibly recognized my face, but that's it.

After blabbing on for a while I quickly said, "Well, see ya!" and walked away.

WHY AM I WEIRD. 

How embarrassing. But at least I was myself. What more can a girl do?

nvm

so remember that blog post I just posted about lindsay having blood clots in her lungs? nvm. apparently it was a mistake. some glitch happened with the scanning and her body and the lighting and what not. so, they're pretty sure them clots weren't there in the first place. unless they disappeared in 3 days. so whoops.

lumps clumps

Well, she's done it again. Little sister, Lindsay, got sick. She finished chemotherapy one year ago and what do you know? She has moved on from lumps to clumps. On Thursday she went to the doc for some chest tightness and they found a couple blood clots in her lungs, or as I like to call them, pulmonary emboli.

The doctor sang, "Are you gonna stay the night? Are you gonna stay the night? Ahhh ahhh ahh ahh are you gonna stay the night?" and Lindsay was like, "Fine".

So Dad and I brought some Cafe Rio up to the hospital. Katie and Carlee showed up and we all hung out in the wee hospital room. Katie, Lin, and I watched the Bach into the late evening hours and can I just say, I never liked Juan P. from the very beginning.

I slept over with Lin. They had a bench that turned into kind of a bed. Somehow I slept okay even though people came in throughout the night greedy for Lindsay's blood.

She was discharged the next day and has to shoot herself in the belly with some medicine 14 times in the next week. Then she'll take some Coumadin in pill form for many weeks and her blood will thin out a bit. 

What a bummer. But all is well.

 

Lindsay's account of the story is here.