twenty eleven

highlights of the year.


Today is the one year anniversary of when i almost went blind.

One year ago today, my sister, Katie, and I embarked upon a journey. One in which we got surgery on our eyes, or as the children are calling it, 'lasik'.

It actually wasn't that bad. Except for the terror, pain, going blind, wearing insect goggles, and stinging eyes for hours afterwards. It got a little better on the ride home in which I couldn't open my eyes the whole time. But we got some Starbucks caramel apple ciders which were quite nice. Ever since then it's been bliss for these eyes of mine.

This is us getting our eyes dilated before surgery. If you're wondering where we got those sunglasses so you can get a pair of your own, ask your eye doctor.


cavity plural

they're a nuisance.

if you're like me, you brush your teeth 2-3 times a day, floss 1-2 times per day, and eat a good amount of sugary food. and none of that taking care of my teeth really takes care of my teeth. that sugar somehow hides quick enough that my toothbrush bristles will never find it.

i don't like it.

cause then i have to lay there at the dentist's office with a bunch of hands in my mouth and eyes in my face, my jaw hanging open for many long moments, unable to swallow, almost gagging.

i'd prefer a bunch of food in my mouth and cool wind in my face, my jaw chewing slowly for many long moments, able to swallow, almost in heaven.

twelve twenty-five eleven

Christmas. A holiday worth celebrating.

Celebrating with your very favorite people if you can help it. But alas, sometimes you cannot help it. Sometimes your brother+wife have to go to her family's for Christmas. But, that's okay. I coped by drinking bubbly.

You know what this made me realize? When you get married, you get double the presents. Money from your own family's Santa and goodies from your spouse's family's Santa. If that's not an incentive to get married, then I don't know what is. But, since I'm not the greedy type, I think I'll wait a bit. Not that I'm like, "Shew!" to all them men. I'm just like, "Whatevs. Whenevs."

My Christmas morning started with Reeses Pieces. It ended with a book. It was filled with bubbly, games, getting sick of games, potatoes, pie, and iPod exploration. Oh, and church, which was swell. I also watched It's a Wonderful Life for my first time. It was a wonderful part of my life. But really, it was just about fine.

It was overall a day worth living.


final final

Tomorrow is the day.

I had five big ones this semester. The final final is chemistry, oh chemistry. As in, Oh-ganic chemistry. Just the thought of it makes my nose itch. But the thought of being done makes my belly roar. I'm hungry for the end.

I'll finally (haha get it?) be able to get in Christmas mode.

Now let me tell you what is so great about that particular mode. It's joyous!

When you're feeling joyous, you don't do crappy things like homework! You do things like drink bubbly. Or have sleepovers with your sisters. Or eat a whole roll of toll house cookie dough with them as fast as you can and maybe even hold hands.

My favorite holiday memory is when I was a young chitlin with a mushroom haircut. I was carefree with no worries but what my siblings got for Christmas that I didn't get. Well one year my sister got a remote control race car track. I wasn't jealous. I just wanted it for myself. How could I get it? I thought, I'd have to trade one of my gifts. I had a nice big teddy bear, a piano songbook, and... an orange. I showed her the orange and all the cool tricks I could do with it: throw it in the air, watch it fall back down, roll it around the floor. She thought that was stupid. So, I gave up.

I was a great example of humility that day. I gave up what I wanted for someone else's happiness. I just never thought it would be so hard.

Anyways, I'm really, really essited. Here's a Christmas video to spread the joy.


papa noel

i met santa for probably the third time in my life this weekend.

it was the most memorable of the three. cause now i'm older and wiser and more rememberable. behind that beard, he was younger than the others. i guess it's a new guy. i got to sit on his lap. but he didn't ask what i wanted for christmas, or even my name.

i guess you could say it hit a nerve.

all he did was take pictures with all the excited kids and didn't even smile. then, as if that wasn't self-righteous enough, he put all those pictures up on facebook. just to show off to all the world that santa is more popular than the rest of us. then he left without even saying goodbye, shaved, dyed his hair, and put on a christmas sweater. what is the world coming to when santa shaves and wears skinny jeans?




A great month for some men to look especially handsome.

And also a great month for more men than I ever realized could possibly look so patchy and foolish to look patchy and foolish.

I've never seen so much patchy fur as I did this Novembeard.

The thing is, a beard is supposed to be full and manly. There were way too many beard posers last month. And that is NOT full and manly.

According to a very reliable source, Wiki,

"a beard is the collection of hair that grows on the chin, cheeks and neck of human beings".

Notice how it does not say, "a beard is patches of hair that grows on the chin, cheeks, and neck of human beings."

I just want to go up to one of those patch beards and say, "Hey Beardsley! What the ... is on your face?! This is Novembeard. Patchtober was last month."

Thankfully, Deshaveber came so every patch beard is no more.