10.21.2013

what's in a name?

pretty much... everything.

the name someone gives their child determines their destiny.

for example, if you name your kid angel, she will automatically be weird.

if you name your kid emily, she will turn out pretty neat.

if you name your kid stephanie, but spell it steffineigh, people will be confused about her race.

speaking of race, if you're black, you can name your kid whatever you want.

if you name your kid an old person name like roger or deborah, they probably won't ever get married. unless they find each other. but, then again, that's not really saying much because i have a nice name and i'm not even close to married... so roger, you might be my only hope.

if your last name has to do with nature, don't make your child's first name naturey too. like... if your last name is wood, don't name your kid autumn. or if your last name is meadows, don't name your kid crystal. maybe don't ever name your kid crystal though.

the other thing is though, that if you name your kid a popular name, like emily, there will be a billion other emily's. and then at school they won't go by emily. they'll go by emily j. and who wants to be called emily j? 

it's all very stressful.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, I know I say this ALL THE TIME, but I really do mean it when I say that you are hilarious. I was literally laughing out loud. Oh, and I really love this post.

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