an accident

So there's this kid that I was friends with a while back, we'll call him Thomas.

We hung out at the beginning of January but then he headed far away for school. We hadn't talked for months because, you know what happens when you don't live close to your friends. So in April, when the eclipse was going down, I woke up in the middle of the night to a text from him saying, "Are you watching the eclipse?!" I was thoroughly confused and wasn't sure how to respond. I was 98% sure he was texting the wrong girl. So I responded, "No:(, was it awesome?!" Five hours later confirmed my suspicions when he merely said, "Yeah it was pretty cool!"

So it was obvs an accident because who just leaves it at that? 

two for relief society

Tonight at FHE, we played volleyball on the lawn. It was dandy fun, even though my team was losing. We were still laughing and giddy and having a jolly time. This guy on the other team wasn't my fave. He was a bit self righteous and I just didn't care for his behavior. When some of the girls would serve and the ball didn't make it over he would say, "Two for Relief Society!" as if girls need more chances than guys due to their inability to be good at any sports.

I was quite perturbed. At one point, we were right across the net to each other and I reached my hands out in fury and told him to stop talking (don't worry, I stayed on my side of the net).

So, I mean, don't mess with me. Cause I'll tell you to stop talking.... priiiitty serious stuff. Put you in yo place, boi!

a real life rd

Almost 2 weeks ago I took the RD exam (Registered Dietitian). I went in terrified. They made me turn out my pockets and wouldn't let me take my chapstick in. Don't they know that I need it every 10-14 minutes?! I lathered and lathered my lips, but they were getting a bit chapped near the conclusion of my exam. As I went through the test questions, I swear I didn't know anything. I was terrified when it said my test was finished. I went up to the lady who printed out my test. She took a glanced, turned it over, and handed it to me. Oh great, she probably just saw that I FAILED MY TEST. I turned it over and saw a

Congratulations!

Holy crap. I was kind of in shock. I'm a real life RD now. A real life one! I have a title!

Emily Jenkins, RD, CD.

(CD is certified dietitian. You have to be certified in your state of practice).

I guess I'm a big deal now. I'm FINALLY a big deal!!!!!!!

And I never have to take a test again in my life. Praise the heavens. I'm done.

part april // triathlon

On Saturday, Lindsay, Carlee, and I did a triathlon in Logan called the Balanced Man Triathlon. I did it last year and wanted to do it again to beat my time! Unfortunately, I did not beat my time. I was 14 minutes slower, in fact! This due partly to the horrendous weather. Pouring rain, then snow, and frigid temperatures. But I would say it's mostly due to me being in worse shape than I was last year. There's just something about being at college that makes it easier to exercise.

the sober life

I've recently started waitressing at a restaurant whilst studying for the RD exam and getting a real dietitian job. As you may or may not know, the restaurant biz brings in kind of trashy/potty mouth type people. They act super profesh on the floor with the customers but the second they walk into the kitchen they're shouting F bombs at each other. They yell vulgarities when they're mad, sad, happy, confused, or speechless. I don't prefer this and have contemplated bringing a bar of soap to wash their mouths out, though I think this may be ineffective because the damage has already been done. Their mothers should have done that years ago, but these profane people range from 23-60 years of age. So you see how that would set me back a smidge. How do you teach old people to act like old people?

Anyway, here are some fun happenings that I have been a part of:

Boy: You should come hang out with a few of us tonight.
Me: What are you gonna do?
Boy: Smoke week and drink beer.
Me: HAHA, I'm not coming.

Guy: Did you grow up in Utah?
Me: Yus
Guy: So you're a Mormon?
Me: Yus
Guy: *Thinks I'm weird. I can tell by his facial expression.*

Jolly old man customer: You must be the prettiest woman I've seen all day!
Me: Oh well that's very nice of you, thank you!
Customer: Let's make it all month!

Boy: You should put Neosporin on that burn.
Me: Oh I do.
Boy: Geez! Sooooorry!
My mind: Don't tell me stupid stuff I already know and then get all defensive when all I say is 'I know'

Man: Are you LDS?
Me: Yus
Man: Well do you still drink and do drugs and stuff?
Me: Um, no.
Man: WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN.
Me: Wakeboard, ski...
Man: *Cuts me off* HOW DO YOU DO THAT SOBER?!?
Me: With skillz.

Guy: Is that guy Mormon?
Me: No, he swears a lot.
Guy: Mormons can swear.
Me: Wait, they can?
(PS, that wasn't really my response. I also knew that he smoked, which confirmed that he wasn't Mormon).

Guy: Do you wanna pick up a shift on Sunday?
Me: I have church. Yep, I'm a church girl.
Guy: *Sneers at me and walks away*

So, I mean, it's fun.

part march // salt flats

My dear friend, Aleisha, and I have been wanting to go do a photo shoot at the Bonneville Salt Flats for quite some time now. We planned it for March when the weather is decent but before the bugs move in. On Friday we made the two hour trek out west. The flats weren't as flat as we thought. A layer of salt was over some mud, creating a mushy ground, but it was still pretty flat all around. We put on some lipstick, took some pictures, and then decided to get our hair all big and frizzy. These photos turned out totally rad. I can't get over that sky.

Those salt flats are pretty stellar.

Do I know you?

The day: Sunday
The setting: Church, after Sacrament meeting

Due to the fact that I am now living at home, my singles ward consists of people from high school. This one kid, we'll call him George, was standing in the seat stall and Lindsay and I needed to get out. So I kindly asked if I could get through. Then he said, 'hi,' and I told him good job on his lesson today. He then asked me my name.

Now, George and I went to high school together, and even middle school and elementary I believe. Though, we never shared a class to my recollection and I don't think we ever spoke a word. But I did know who he was. Because, I know who most people are. My memory is fantastic.

So anyway, I told him my name and then proceeded to tell him this story of a guy in Washington that I played volleyball with that looked so familiar to me and blah blah blah and then when I saw him (George) at church I realized the kid from Washington was George's doppleganger!  

So he kinda laughed and then asked me my last name. I told him and said we had graduated high school together. He went, 'Ohhh!' like he recognized my name, but I'm pretty sure he didn't know who I was. He possibly recognized my face, but that's it.

After blabbing on for a while I quickly said, "Well, see ya!" and walked away.

WHY AM I WEIRD. 

How embarrassing. But at least I was myself. What more can a girl do?